Yo Mamma Jokes

 
Yo mama's been on welfare so long they put her face on the food stamps. 
Yo mama's blind and seeing another man. 
Yo mama's car's so ugly, someone broke in just to steal The CLUB. 
Yo mama's cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. 
Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. 
Yo mama's glasses are so thick when she looks at a map she can see people waving 
Yo mama's house is so dusty the roaches ride around on dune buggys 
Yo mama's house is so small she can't even order a large pizza 
Yo mama's I was walking down the street with Yo mama and they started shooting, they said hit the dirt and everYone jumped on Yo mama's back 
Yo mama's in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." 
Yo mama's middle name is Rambo. 
Yo mama's missing a finger and can't count past 9. 
Yo mama's so backwards she sits on the TV and watches the couch. 
Yo mama's so bald her hair looks like stitches. 
Yo mama's so bald she curls her hair with rice. 
Yo mama's so ballheaded when she showers she gets brainwashed 
Yo mama's so cheap, instead of buying a fire alarm, she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling.  
Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. 
Yo mama's so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. 
Yo mama's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times. 
Yo mama's so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. 
Yo mama's such a whore that I could've been Yo daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change. 
Yo mama's twice the man You are. 
Yo mama aint got no fingers, talking about she's pressing charges 
Yo mama drives a peanut. 
Yo mama said she liked seafood, so I gave her crabs. 
Yo mama sets off car alarms when she runs. 
Yo mama's twice the man You are. 
Yo mama was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. 
Yo mama was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags.  I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." 
Yo mama watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. 
Yo mama waves around a popsickle stick and calls it air conditioning. 
Yo mama wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. 
Yo maxi pad is so thick You could bend over and deflect bullets. I just saw Yo mama walking down the hall with a matress straped to her back asking for volunteers! I saved Yo mama's life today...I killed a shit-eating dog on the way over. I saw Yo mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. I saw Yo mama kicking a can down the street. I askes what she was doing, and she said "Moving." If my dog had a face as ugly as Yo mama's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards. The difference between Yo mama and 747: not everYone's been on a 747. The guys like to shop at Yo mama's favorite store, the gap.